You didn’t get the Blessing from your first father? What you cand do

I was 6 or 7 years old the last time I saw my father. He’s been dead for a long time. Did he bless me? I don’t know. At least I wasn’t there. There’s a big gap, something missing, something big.

I am 53 years old, but I am still longing for the blessing of my first father. Stronger than ever.

And now what?

What can we do if we were not blessed by our first father? In my eyes, there are three possibilities:
 

1   Asking the first father

Unfortunately, this is no longer possible for me, but some of us are back in contact with their first father. But blessing? He didn’t do that! Not every father has the idea of blessing his child, many will not even know what it is, let alone how it works. And not everyone will be ready, even if asked to.

What to do? Apply the Esau method! As we have seen, Esau cried, cried, and asked his father three times for a blessing. He did not give up until he had received it.

To ask the father for a blessing? I know it’s not easy, it could be embarrassing, and you risk a rebuff. But if you don’t dare, you don’t win.

Have courage! And don’t give up!


2   To get blessed by a substitute

The first father can’t or doesn’t want to? That’s a pity. A real pity!

But there is a way to still get a blessing from him. How? By a substitute person.

By that, I don’t mean just another person replacing the one who can’t be replaced. It’s someone who consciously takes on the role of the first father.

How does that work? Ask a person to "play your father" and to bless you instead. There are settings that are particularly suitable for this, like family constellations

In one of these my first father (not in Persian, but Swiss German!) said, and without having to ask him: "I bless you as my son."

Nothing more? That’s enough? That’s it? - Yes, indeed! That was much less than what I described in the previous article, but this blessing did infinitely good to me. What more do I want?

Attention! If your father is still alive: Please do not take this step until you have unsuccessfully asked him for the blessing. So don’t (out of shame, fear, or convenience) try to get something from substitutes, what the real person might be able to give you.

And whether or not one of the first two steps works, there is a third option:

3   Receiving the blessing of God, the Father

Even the best father on earth is only a weak image of our heavenly Father. We can feel safe and secure in his presence. His blessing is more than just a substitute for the blessing of the earthly father.

How do you get this blessing? Firstly, you find it in the Bible. Several times. For example, in Isaiah 43:1ff.

"Do not be afraid, for I have set you free; I have called you by your name, you belong (to) me! When you walk through the water, I am with you, when by sturgeons, then they do not tear you away. When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched, no flame will burn you."

Then you can let others give you this blessing. One possibility is the so-called "Listening Prayer", in which people become silent before God and pass on to you what they have received as a message from God the Father. These will not only be blessings, but the probability is high that this message contains a blessing.

And then there’s the wonderful song "The Blessing" by Kari Jobe, Cody Carnes and Elevation Worship. This is not an individual blessing, but blessing remains blessing. I am not surprised that this song has such an unprecedented success worldwide and is sung by numerous people.

I wish you the blessing of your first father! And the blessing of God the Father!

to part 1: Longing for the father’s blessing