Not every second of importance

I have thought carefully about which quotation from the literature I start with here, and I think I have found a suitable one, here it is:

„Also meistens ist es Paule ziemlich egal, aus welchem Bauch er gekommen ist, aber manchmal eben auch nicht.“

“So most of the time Paule doesn’t care what stomach he came from, but sometimes he does.“

(Kirsten Boie: Paule ist ein Glücksgriff, Hamburg 2010, 9. - Translation of the original German text into English by me.)

I think that’s accurate.

I don’t want this website to give the impression that my whole life is about adoption. And that it is the only subject that keeps me busy day in and day out.

It is in the nature of this website that I only report about foster care and adoption. And this is important for this website to appeal to the desired target group.

But like every human being, I have many lifes. I am a seminar leader, book author, employer, husband, father, neighbour, SC-Freiburg fan, railway driver, Dostoyevsky admirer, spaghetti cooker, fireplace fan, etc. etc.

There are two extremes: not even thinking about it - and always thinking about it. I have lived both extremes in my life: for decades in repression the first and then, when I woke up, for a long time the second.

I think both extremes are harmful in their own way. The first because it doesn’t get me anywhere, and the second … doesn’t get me anywhere as well. Repression does not solve the problems, but only shifts them and makes them even bigger. And too much activity blinds me to the richness of life and keeps me from experiencing more exciting things and making my contribution to this world as much as I can.

The authors Brodzinsky / Schechter / Marantz Henig, not adopted, have coined a beautiful metaphor. Dealing with adoption is like dealing with a hat box in the closet. You don’t deal with it every day, but open it in between and go through the content (David Brodzinsky/ Marshall Schechter/ Robin Marantz Henig: Being Adopted The Lifelong Search for Self, New York 1992, 22.)

That sounds like a healthy way, doesn’t it? I am trying to pursue this healthy way (if it is possible on this subject), and I hope that I will succeed. If I’m not writing for this website or my book, I can say for myself right now:

Most of the time, I don’t care which stomach I came from, but sometimes I do.

And about this "sometimes" I write here.

And if you want to read something else from me, then have a look at www.meistertricks.de or www.salomo.de.